My name is Alice O’Donkor. I’m a daughter, sister, friend to many and so much more. I’m also a black woman. I cannot go a full day without talking about my family and friends, but my thoughts about blackness are harder to articulate. I have struggled to find safe places to be a black woman all my life. Merely breathing and existing in the wrong place could provoke verbal or physical abuse from passers-by. Hearing “I don’t see colour! We’re all the same” from well-meaning friends would offer little comfort.
My blackness has felt like an impediment at times. Something that people notice immediately, something met with a wry smile and an averted gaze, something that people try not to mention, something that people tiptoe around in conversation, something people try to tolerate but not embrace.
Finally I’m beginning to see the beauty in being me. I’m black. Black. It’s not a pejorative term and fits me perfectly so you can say it. I’m BLACK. In the summer, my skin shimmers in the golden sun. In the winter, my skin takes on a reddish glow. My hair is thick, black and speckled with platinum white strands. My eyes are deep brown, revealing an immoveable joy and untold truths that could reduce you to tears. But I rise. Every day I extend the love that I was denied to someone else. I’m proud of the woman I’ve become, and I love her so very much. Tina Lawson said it best on Solange Knowles’ Interlude: Tina Taught Me from A Seat at the Table:
“It's such beauty in Black people
And it really saddens me
When we're not allowed to express that pride in being Black
And that if you do, then it's considered anti-white
No! You just pro-black, and that's okay
The two don't go together, because you celebrate Black culture
Does not mean that you don't like white culture
Or that you putting it down
It's just taking pride in it, but what's irritating is when somebody says
You know, "They're racist!", "That's reverse racism!"
Or "They have a Black History Month, but we don't have a White History Month!"
Well, all we've ever been taught is white history
So, why are you mad at that? Why does that make you angry? That is to suppress me and to make me not be proud.”