Case studies

Experiences of the menopause from around the School

some of the ways in which staff and managers are experiencing the menopause

The menopause affects different individuals in different ways. Here is a selection of contributions from colleagues, each talking about how they've experienced the menopause, as well as suggestions for ensuring a more supportive and understanding work culture going forward. 

"You don't suddenly stop becoming the person you were pre-menopause"

What would you like colleagues at LSE to understand about the menopause?

That it is a natural progression and doesn’t mean that you suddenly stop becoming the person you were pre menopause, you are still intelligent and wonderful.

What has been your experience of working at LSE with the menopause? 

I have been lucky as my previous manager had been through it and to some extent understood and provided me with a fan and understood the symptoms.

What advice would you give your manager about talking to staff in relation to menopausal issues?

To see it as a friendly chat and not be judgemental and to be patient and listen and be a little informed.

Are there any particular tips you’d give to colleagues on how to support you and other people who are going through the menopause?

To be aware that we are still the same people and even though we have our momments and would like to be treated the same and not like an old crone!

"Look for creative solutions"

What would you like colleagues at LSE to understand about the menopause?

It can be so much tougher than you think. It’s not just hot flushes and mood swings. It can have serious impacts on physical and mental health and on how you manage day to day, and it can vary every day. Imagine not having a single proper night’s sleep for 6 years but having to do everything you’ve always had to do with no let up. Imagine also being afraid to let on that you are struggling because you don’t want to be written off with ‘womens problems’. Imagine being sleepless and trying to keep it together so you aren’t seen as a liability or a nuisance in the work place every single day. And imagine going through something half the population go through and being treated as if you’re ill or depressed, or worse, not being taken seriously at all, even by your GP. 

What has been your experience of working at LSE with the menopause?

It was hard. I was exhausted. I wasn’t sleeping, I had terrible ‘brain fog’ and trouble concentrating, I developed painful eczema and felt less than myself for so long I forgot what I used to be like.  Keeping up with work was horrendous and some days I just wanted to give up and throw myself off a bridge.  I worked for men who didn’t notice and whom I didn’t feel I could talk to.  My first line manager thought I was being difficult and was angry that I was making his life difficult.  I felt under pressure if I took what was perceived to be ‘too much sick leave’. 

To be fair to my second male line manager he was not unsympathetic but I didn’t want to tell him how badly I was struggling because I didn’t want to be seen as a liability who couldn’t do their job properly, especially after my experience with my first line manager.

What advice would you give your manager about talking to staff in relation to menopausal issues?

It’s not an illness.  Don’t make someone feel they are not performing well and be very aware that of the language you use – because often it can sound discriminatory or make someone feel worse.  Understand they are struggling, and that they are under pressure to be as ‘reliable’ as a man in the workplace. Look for creative solutions – it’s in your interests to have an engaged and well-performing member of staff, and often in your gift to help them be that.  

Lockdown has made flexible working much easier, but I was expected to be at my desk every weekday morning regardless of how awful I felt.  Create a workspace where all your staff feel OK to call in and say ‘I need to work from home today’ or ‘can I come in a little later and work a little later as I had a terrible night’.  What do you care as long as the work gets done?  (I accept that’s more difficult with shift work and public facing work and I don’t know what the solution is other than to be creative.)  Foster a staff environment where understanding and flexibility is the norm – it will benefit every member of your staff. 

Are there any particular tips you’d give to colleagues on how to support you and other people who are going through the menopause?

I think understanding and compassion is key.  Over the course of my career I’ve heard things like:  well I have to come in, why are they special, why are they getting different treatment than me, why is it down to me to keep things going just because they’re ‘tired’?   It only adds to the pressure that menopausal women already feel.  They don’t want special treatment and don’t want to be seen getting special treatment but some days are so much more difficult than others and they just need a little slack.   Sometimes we all need a little slack. 

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Every woman colleague you work with will go through menopause, every woman you know will go through menopause. Some will be in their 50s and some will be younger, some much much younger and so will have to deal with not being able to have children, some will be plunged into menopause by cancer or another health issue and have to deal with that too. Some will sail through it and some will have serious health issues. Some will feel like they are invisible – that their age precludes them from being seen as meaningful in the workplace when they have wisdom and experience to offer. Most will be reluctant to ask their GP for a referral to a specialist. Many will not be believed by their GPs or they will be dismissed. 

My menopause was early, so not only did my (female) GP not believe me, she just said ‘well never mind dear we all have to go through it’. If you want to see how disregarded women can still be in our society, go through the menopause. And do not say to me that menopause is natural, that it will imbue me with spiritual wisdom and make me a moon goddess because I have two words for you…

 

 

"Listen to the member of staff who is going through this change"

What I would like colleagues at LSE to understand about the perimenopause/menopause is that you experience anxiety and/or depression for the first time and that most women will experience menopausal symptoms at some stage in their lives. It is a natural stage when a women’s oestrogen levels decline, it is a transition.

I am currently going through perimenopause, I have felt extremely tired, the fatigue is like nothing that I have experienced. I have been having Irregular periods, hot flushes, which seems to be worst at night, but this has slightly eased for me now. I feel that I am unable to open up and speak to others who are not going through this yet. I tend to go through it in silence.

The advice that I would give to a Manager is to listen to the member of staff who is going through this change, making any necessary adjustments to our working environment that can make a world of difference, which will help us to thrive at work. Such as offering us desk fans and working from home. Being able to talk openly about what we are experiencing and for the Manager to understand, can reduce the impact of the symptoms.

"Symptoms are not an everyday occurrence but can last several days at a time"

The menopause started for me at the age of 50.  The first noticeable symptoms were the hot flushes, these were not frequent and did not affect my sleeping patterns, as they mostly occurred during the day.

The symptoms which followed were unexpected and extremely frightening, as I feared this was the beginning of dementia. I began to suffer from memory loss which mainly surfaced during conversations, in that I struggled to remember words.  This has had a debilitating effect on me, especially when attending meetings, I now limit how much I speak for fear of not being able to recall odd words.

Another of the symptoms is brain fog, this manifests in an inability to read what is in front of me, as emails and documents appear an unfamiliar language. The harder I try to digest what is in front of me, the less I retain. It also takes me longer to put things down in writing, as opposed to answering questions/requests orally. As with the hot flushes these symptoms are not an everyday occurrence but can last several days at a time. They have had an effect on my confidence, which also causes anxiety.

"Menopause is not a taboo word" 

What would you like colleagues at LSE to understand about the menopause?

Tears, cranky, hot, less tolerant, tired.

Are there any particular tips you’d give to colleagues on how to support you and other people who are going through the menopause?

    • Learn MENOPAUSE is not a taboo word, it can be discussed openly if the suffer wishes to, after all we discuss pregnancy, illness etc. Menopause is a normal life event for women.
    • Non menopausal managers should maybe get some training on how to deal with employees going through the menopause and should maybe be given strategies to help support their staff members.
    • For some tolerance to be shown around how one is feeling, offering practical solutions to help cope with the symptoms i.e. more flexible working, be that WFH or flexing working hours.
    • Make menopausal women feel that they CAN ask for help.
    • On very low days, try to understand that output may be a lower than normal - “we don’t feel great”

 

Please contact your HR Partner if you would like to share your experience of the menopause on this page.